we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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