I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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