No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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