You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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