ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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