There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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