i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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