So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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