he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
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I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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