I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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