I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
