i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he puts the penis in happiness.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
