Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Threesome in a minivan. New low
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
