i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
