its not stalking. its research.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
