Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
