There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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