explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize