He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
