Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
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