I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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