Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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