i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
