i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
and she was petting her beer can
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
