she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
