I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
