I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize