every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
