reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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