i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
