sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
