go do what you do best...puke behind churches
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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