Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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