I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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