At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
