i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
