just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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