dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
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you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
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Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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