apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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