She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
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she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
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What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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