1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
