she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
