I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
