I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
