he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
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Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
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Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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