You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Randomize
