I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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