we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It was confusing and full of hummus
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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