So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
