last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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