we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
