Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
