..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
