So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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