I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize