Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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