writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
