I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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