Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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