I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He uses pillows to masturbate.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
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He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
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Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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