I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
