it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize