please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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