How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
