You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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