Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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