she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
