Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
